Of black dogs and such
Ginger Nut over at Pierre the Yarn Snob has started ‘Fight the Black Dog Friday‘ to talk about her experiences with depression, and I’m joining her.
I wasn’t actually going to post about this here; I have a personal journal on a social networking site, which is my fun-goofing-round, complaining-and-ranting, personal-angst place. My intention was originally to stick to my knitting here 
But I’ve been thinking about it more, and Ginger Nut is right; depression is an illness, not something to be ashamed of, and if knitting helps, why not talk about that?
I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2000. In my case there is likely a genetic basis to it; there is a family history of depression on both sides of my family, which I didn’t realise until I began delving into my ancestry. I can pinpoint what triggered my depression, which lasted five years before I sought help, and I can now spot when I’m getting into a cycle of distorted thinking. I am one of the very lucky ones, because my depression is easily kept in check with a low dose of medication and occasionally a bit of therapy. I’ve had friends and family who’ve been uncomfortable with that, especially with the idea of medication; but there is (or should be) no more shame in being physically, genetically predisposed to depression than in being predisposed to cancer or diabetes, and in needing medication for those things.
Knitting, for me, is an expression of everything depression is not. It is positive and affirming. Knitting is a way to express myself; it’s a way to work with my hands and keep busy; it’s activity which has a definite point, and which results in the creation of something. It lets me express my love and affection for others; I love to make gifts for others, concentrating on the person I’ll be giving the item to and letting my intention and affection flow into what I do with my hands. It gives me something achievable, something worthwhile, something meaningful, and above all, something satisfying, to do with my time. I could ask no more from a pastime.
And on that note, here’s a cute little beret I knocked up on the weekend:
The pattern is the Last Minute Purled Beret from Knit and Tonic, but kept on the knit side. And I made myself a little neck warmer to go with it!
The yarn for both of these is 12-ply pure wool from Nundle Woollen Mills, in ‘Periwinkle’. The buttons on the neckwarmer are paua shell, picked up on one of my many NZ trips. The neck hug will be perfect for those times when I’m walking home from the station and don’t want a scarf getting in the way.
